The One with Frank Jr., Sara Evans, Jennifer Aniston, etc....
The Connection.
Remember that show Connections? A documentary series on the BBC back in the 70s and 80s.
It was hosted by that white haired guy in horn rimmed glasses and he spent the whole show starting with something like the canoe and showing how the invention of the canoe led to rocket fuel. He was like the MacGuyver of history. That's called a teleological view of history. Watching this show was like discovering girls grew up to be women. It was awesome. It wasn't, however, a singular American cultural success. It had a good audience and it was brought back to tv for 2 additional series years later; but, like most television that taught you something, it went the way of the
Herculoids and Blue Falcon and Dynomutt. Let's face it...successfully speaking, it was no Friends. 
Back in October of 1996 most Americans were watching Friends. I, on the other hand, was married, going to Pharmacy school, working a job 40 hours a week, studying about that much, and helping to raise a 1 year old son. I don't ever remember watching Friends that year.
Since then, I own the entire dvd collection and have watched them all at least twice.
I mean, who doesn't love Friends? A group of attractive, sexually charged people my age who lived in a quarter million dollar apartment in NYC on a masseuse's salary and an oft unemployed personal shopper. (Later an up and coming chef and a personal shopper, but I digress)
In one episode that aired that month, misleadingly called The One with Frank Jr., Ross makes a list of five celebrities he's allowed to cheat on Rachel with should he ever run into them.
His list is full of women apparently 'hot' at the time such as Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, Elizabeth Hurley, Michelle Pfeifer, and (for comedy effect) Dorothy Hamil. I, personally, think with as much time as he put into the list, he couldve come up with some 'hotter' women. I mean, okay, maybe Winona Ryder, and definitely Elizabeth Hurley, but the rest? Watching this episode later with my wife (who loves tv in a similar, but often starkly different, manner as myself) we both decided to come up with our own lists.
It took me all of 5 seconds.
Fortunately, she knows men are pigs and that I would never actually follow up on that list, but then again, these conversations reflect our complete infatuation with famous people.
To make a long story short, we shared lists and many nods and shocked looks followed.
My list was as follows: 1) Faith Hill (obviously) 2)Sara Evans (country music superstar) 3)Kate Beckinsale 4) Denise Richards and 5) Karen McDougal (playboy pmoy 1998)
Denise Richards and Karen McDougal (once I explained who she was) were immediately discarded due to the wife's veto power which she quickly and cleanly invoked.
My wife took this as a victory for womankind while I secretly celebrated getting my wife to talk about other women as hot or not.
Anyways....of the three allowed women (Denise and Karen were replaced with Jennifer Aniston (ironically on Friends) and a yet to announced at a later date...possibly one of those Deal or No Deal girls...or the Doritos girl...but I digress) two of them were married (Faith and Sara) and Kate was engaged (now married) so they were pretty much only ON the list if they ever became single. i.e. not a worry to my wife.
Well.
Faith is the embodiment of the perfect women (hence her appearance on The Stepford Wives) and Tim McGraw would have to be an idiot...nay, a dead idiot to do anything to jeopardize that.
And, until recently, I thought that of the other two. Until now. Today the headlines read that Country music Superstar Sara Evans has filed for divorce from her
husband. I took approximately two seconds to feel sorrow for her
situation...after all, I have been through divorce...and then I told my
wife. She's single honey...she's single. She claims irreconcilable
differences...oh, and adultery and porn addiction.
What a maroon. I don't know whether to believe it or not. After all,
his defense is she's lying and 'not herself'. Well, maybe. I mean, she
has to be lying. Who would cheat on somebody on my list?
Either way Im bound to be disappointed. I could never cheat on my
wife, even with her make believe permission.
For it takes more than an all american smile, a body that won't quit, or
success, fame and fortune to make a relationship.
It takes a being Friends, and having a Connection. Just like that
show by that British guy in horn rimmed glasses.
The Connection.
Remember that show Connections? A documentary series on the BBC back in the 70s and 80s.
It was hosted by that white haired guy in horn rimmed glasses and he spent the whole show starting with something like the canoe and showing how the invention of the canoe led to rocket fuel. He was like the MacGuyver of history. That's called a teleological view of history. Watching this show was like discovering girls grew up to be women. It was awesome. It wasn't, however, a singular American cultural success. It had a good audience and it was brought back to tv for 2 additional series years later; but, like most television that taught you something, it went the way of the
Herculoids and Blue Falcon and Dynomutt. Let's face it...successfully speaking, it was no Friends. 
Back in October of 1996 most Americans were watching Friends. I, on the other hand, was married, going to Pharmacy school, working a job 40 hours a week, studying about that much, and helping to raise a 1 year old son. I don't ever remember watching Friends that year.
Since then, I own the entire dvd collection and have watched them all at least twice.
I mean, who doesn't love Friends? A group of attractive, sexually charged people my age who lived in a quarter million dollar apartment in NYC on a masseuse's salary and an oft unemployed personal shopper. (Later an up and coming chef and a personal shopper, but I digress)
In one episode that aired that month, misleadingly called The One with Frank Jr., Ross makes a list of five celebrities he's allowed to cheat on Rachel with should he ever run into them.
His list is full of women apparently 'hot' at the time such as Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, Elizabeth Hurley, Michelle Pfeifer, and (for comedy effect) Dorothy Hamil. I, personally, think with as much time as he put into the list, he couldve come up with some 'hotter' women. I mean, okay, maybe Winona Ryder, and definitely Elizabeth Hurley, but the rest? Watching this episode later with my wife (who loves tv in a similar, but often starkly different, manner as myself) we both decided to come up with our own lists.
It took me all of 5 seconds.
Fortunately, she knows men are pigs and that I would never actually follow up on that list, but then again, these conversations reflect our complete infatuation with famous people.
To make a long story short, we shared lists and many nods and shocked looks followed.
My list was as follows: 1) Faith Hill (obviously) 2)Sara Evans (country music superstar) 3)Kate Beckinsale 4) Denise Richards and 5) Karen McDougal (playboy pmoy 1998)
Denise Richards and Karen McDougal (once I explained who she was) were immediately discarded due to the wife's veto power which she quickly and cleanly invoked.
My wife took this as a victory for womankind while I secretly celebrated getting my wife to talk about other women as hot or not.
Anyways....of the three allowed women (Denise and Karen were replaced with Jennifer Aniston (ironically on Friends) and a yet to announced at a later date...possibly one of those Deal or No Deal girls...or the Doritos girl...but I digress) two of them were married (Faith and Sara) and Kate was engaged (now married) so they were pretty much only ON the list if they ever became single. i.e. not a worry to my wife.
Well.
Faith is the embodiment of the perfect women (hence her appearance on The Stepford Wives) and Tim McGraw would have to be an idiot...nay, a dead idiot to do anything to jeopardize that.
And, until recently, I thought that of the other two. Until now. Today the headlines read that Country music Superstar Sara Evans has filed for divorce from her
husband. I took approximately two seconds to feel sorrow for her
situation...after all, I have been through divorce...and then I told my
wife. She's single honey...she's single. She claims irreconcilable
differences...oh, and adultery and porn addiction.
What a maroon. I don't know whether to believe it or not. After all,
his defense is she's lying and 'not herself'. Well, maybe. I mean, she
has to be lying. Who would cheat on somebody on my list?
Either way Im bound to be disappointed. I could never cheat on my
wife, even with her make believe permission.
For it takes more than an all american smile, a body that won't quit, or
success, fame and fortune to make a relationship.
It takes a being Friends, and having a Connection. Just like that
show by that British guy in horn rimmed glasses.
See how I did that? Just like Connections.
But then again...it's not called a 'relationship list' is it?
Today's lesson was brought to you by the number pi and the word 'teleological'.
posted by Midnight Train at 7:03 PM
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