Genius

From Websters
Main Entry: ge·nius
Pronunciation: 'jEn-y&s, 'jE-nE-&s
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural ge·nius·es or ge·nii /-nE-"I/
Etymology: Latin, tutelary spirit, natural inclinations, from gignere to beget

Genius is defined many ways. I find it interesting that the origins of the word lie in a tutelary spirit, a Jinn if you will. Like a Genie in a bottle. (Apologies to Christina Aguilera)
Mensa defines a genius as those in the top 2% of the population in intelligence. If that is the case then I am a genius. I offer a different measuring stick. After all, anyone who orders in a drive thru in America can tell you they must be in the top 2%. I definitely feel 98% smarter than all of the drive thru 'technicians' I have come across lately.
I prefer to think of genius from another angle. Here's my list of genius.
Matt Stone and Trey Parker. Even though I don't agree with much of what they say, how they say it often makes me think they must be genii. An example of their work, from Team America:

I'm So Ronery
I'm so ronery
So ronery
So ronery and sadry arone

There's no one
Just me onry
Sitting on my rittle throne
I work very hard and make up great prans
But nobody ristens, no one understands
Seems that no one takes me serirousry 

Jackie Chan. If anyone could be physically a genius, it is he. I have never found a Jackie Chan movie that wasn't wonderful...scratch that...we aren't counting Fantasy Mission Force are we?
Although FMF is possibly the worst drivel on the face of the earth, Jackie makes up for it 100fold in Drunken Master II. I wish I were half as gifted. Genius.
The people behind Arrested Development. I feel like everyone in the world is missing the greatness that is Arrested Development. Cancelled after three seasons? When tripe like "Stacked" can stay on for more than one episode? Sometimes I feel like smart people should have their own television. It would play Arrested Development, Fawlty Towers, Monty Python, and Heroes 24 hours a day.

And Art? Alex Ross. I don't know why I like it, but I do. I want one room in my house covered in art by Alex Ross. 'nuff said.


My point is, there are genii in every area of our lives. George Will I would probably follow blindly anything the man says. He's that smart.
The guy who invented TiVo. The man who decided the internet would be good for posting naked chicks. All, as the Budweiser ad says, men of genius.
If you work hard, apply yourself, and have passion...you too can be the guy who came up with the 11 herbs and spices.
Speaking of herbs, another true genius...Eddie Izzard. Genius of comedy.
We all know Albert Einstein was a smart fellow. What we didn't know, was that genius' are all around us. Heck, in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
Another way of saying that is, "In the land of the drive thru, mental defects are smart."

Go, and enjoy your newfound genius.

Common Sense

Could I have an order please? Make it a double. Political correctness has no place in America anymore. We gave it a chance, and it kept taking. Take for instance Sonic. A great little piece of Americana drive-in food. I like Sonic. But when they go as far as putting handicapped parking spaces at Sonic they've gone too far. And my ATM. I was just there the other day and noticed they have to put braille on the ATM machine! Is this so blind drivers can bank too?
And why do I have to sit through a soliloquy in Spanish when I call just about ANY business?
Isn't this America? Should I be offended there isn't a Cherokee language selection?
And speaking of useless language, here's my voicemail message word for word:
"You have 3 unheard messages. The following 3 messages, have not been heard. First unheard message, sent today at 3 pm."
Am I just SO anxious to get messages that it bothers me I have to sit through this? I KNOW they are unheard messages. That's why I'm listening.
Thomas Paine said, "These are the times that try men's souls.Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph." Exchange tyranny with stupidity and it's like he lived today. He spoke out against ridiculousness and was almost executed for it.
Thanks Tom.