In a neverending quest to make a mockery of ancient civilizations, my group of friends have made our own Noble titles and heraldry in the vein of the Middle Ages and my above boy 'Charlemagne' who, if you look closely, has the holy hand grenade.
Well, never ones to let stardom pass us by, here is a list of the Great Officers of State of our newly formed Fraternal Order of Honey Badgers:

1. Lord High Steward-a.k.a.High Templar (or Great Seneschal)-presides over all meetings and coronations. This shall be the highest ranking officer.
2. Lord High Chancellor-A senior and important functionary in the governing of the Badgers; he is custodian of the Great Seal and is responsible for the efficient functioning and independence of the courts. (Shall always hold the title of Lord Falconer of ___________(insert name of homestead) This shall be the second highest ranking officer.

3. Lord High Treasurer-a.k.a. First Lord of the Treasury also serves as the Prime Minister and can designate a Second Lord of the Treasury to serve as Chancellor of the Exchequer in all cases that will primarily serve to protect and keep the crown jewels. At which time no crown jewels are available, he shall be primary protector and overseer of the Toofian artifacts. It is traditional for the Lord High Treasurer to carry around a white staff at all times. This shall be the third highest ranking officer. Sir Thomas More, one of the most famous early Lord Chancellors, served and was executed under King Henry VIII.

4. Lord President of the Council-There is NO Lord President. But same office still is required to wear something green at all times. This shall be the fourth highest ranking officer.

5. Lord Privy Seal-a.k.a. The Lord Keeper of the Privy Seal, just as in English government, has no duties, no role, and no importance. The holder of this title is also welcome to call himself Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster or Lord Pfiffington’s Grace. The position of Lord Privy Seal has been in recent times combined with the Lord of the House of Commons, and the House of Lords; in effect, making the actual title Lord Lord Seal off the House Privy. The term ‘Lord Privy Seal’ is oft used in jest as in ‘it’s not bad, it’s just Lord Privy Seal’. This shall be the fifth highest ranking officer.

6. Lord Great Chamberlain-a.k.a. the Earl of Denbeigh and Desmond, the Great Carver- this position is a hereditary title, held in gross. At any one time, a single person actually exercises the office of Lord Great Chamberlain. The various individuals who hold fractions of the Lord Great Chamberlainship are technically each Joint Hereditary Lord Great Chamberlain, and the right to exercise the office for a given reign rotates proportionately to the fraction of the office held. For instance, the Marquesses of Cholmondeley hold one-half of the office, and may therefore exercise the office or appoint a deputy every alternate reign.(A Deputy Lord Great Chamberlain is a person exercising the office who is not personally a co-heir to the office; historically these have been sons or husbands of co-heirs as the office has never been exercised by a female, females having been forbidden to sit in the Lords. OR, all this can be thrown out the window at the inkling of the Lord Chamberlain. The office is distinct from the non-hereditary office of Lord Chamberlain of the Household, a position subjugate to the Lord High Steward, and has charge over the Palace of Westminster Badger, and especially the House of Lords, and technically bears the Sword of State at all official events. He is the keeper of the Royal insignia. This shall be the sixth highest ranking officer.

7. Lord High Constable-is called out of abeyance for coronations and prestigious events including purveyor of trials by combat (read slapbets). He is commander of the royal Badger army and fan club, and is Master of the Horse. In conjunction with the Earl Marshal he is President of the Court of Chivalry and the Court of Honor and his decisions on mealtime establishment choosing is word final. This position comes with the choice of having everyone call you by your name with ‘de’ in front.

8. Earl Marshal-Is the Head of the College of Arms. All matters of heraldry and geneology are determined by him. The Earl Marshal is "to have power to order, judge, and determine all matters touching arms, ensigns of nobility, honour, and chivalry; to make laws, ordinances, and statutes for the good government of the Officers of Arms; to nominate Officers to fill vacancies in the Cabinet; to punish and correct Officers of Arms for misbehaviour in the execution of their places". Additionally, the Earl shall be able to excise overriding authority once per full moon of the chosen role-playing game. This shall be the eighth highest ranking officer.

9. Lord High Admiral-a.k.a. Council of the Marine, First Sea Lord. Combines the duties of War Minister, Minister of Defense, and Air Minister. Serves as the Sergeant at arms for all meetings and decides/approves any and all invasion plans and/or secret handshakes. Is to take the place of the Great Seneschal in his absence, hence the least becomes the first. This ability supercedes the Earl Marshals right to choose replacements. The First Sea Lord (oft times called simply ‘The Admiralty or the Admiral of Toof’) also has the privilege of choosing or overriding dates of important events. This shall be the ninth highest ranking officer.

Section 2.

Clause 1. The choosing of aforementioned offices will not be held under scrutiny by law or man and must be vacated upon each revolution of the mother Earth, whereby the new appointee shall take his place. The chosen day being the first Sunday following the first Wednesday following the Christmas party, hereforeto referred to as ‘The coronation’.

Clause 2. In choosing the INITIAL Great Seneschal: A jar of mason size will be filled with coins, beans or other similar sized items to the top, a count of which shall not be determined until after the ceremony. A guess will be made as to the number of items in the jar by all council members present and the items will then be counted by the keeper of the royal artifacts/Lord High Treasurer from the outgoing year. The Badger closest to the actual number counted, as counted by the Royal Lord High Treasurer, shall be declared the next Lord High Steward.
The other Great Officers of the State shall, in descending order of those present, be inducted (pending approval of the just elected High Steward) based on calendar year birthday. For example, if Badger A correctly guesses the number of beans at 902, he becomes (as of the official date of coronation) the Lord High Steward. If his birthday is June 9, the Badger present who has the closest FOLLOWING birthday will be inducted as Lord High Chancellor and so forth for the remaining 7 officers.
After the first year, the offices slide upward (number 2 becomes number 1) and so forth. Those who did not hold office the year prior will guess beans to fill the slot of Lord High Admiral.

I spent all day at work coming up with this crap so I thought I'd substitute it for a blog today!
I discovered mostly this from all this research...to be important in the middle ages, you had to take two breaths to say your title, be related to yourself so many times over you were ugly, and wear a wig. Mostly it seems to only benefit of heraldic titles is that if you were born fifth Earl of Grey, you could theoretically kill enough people to become King.

Yours in arms,

Lord High Constable Midnight de Train, Earl of Arkansas, Master of the Horse, President of the courts of Chivalry and Honor.