Miss America?

‘Yes, I do.’

I never thought it possible. America has let me down. As a child studying history, I tended to focus on ‘cool’ history. Wars and the old west. In all of these instances, America was usually involved and layers developed that became the cake that is my love for my country. Now, I’m not your traditional patriot, but I did start out that way.

My friends and I would roam the fields and backwoods of the area around our houses and pretend like we were right in the middle of combat. Vietnam was always a favorite, as all of our fathers had been participants. We fought as though we would win this time.

We did our own research and burned up our library cards learning about Audie Murphy and plane recognition between the Soviet Union and the U.S. I even bought a model of the different Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles each side in the cold war had to offer.

Then, in ninth grade, a magical thing happened. Operation El Dorado Canyon. One morning in April of 1986, I awoke to the news that President Ronald Reagan had issued an order to bomb the country of Libya, it being the Iran of the time. Muammar al-Gaddafi was probably the most hated person by Americans at the time and he got his come-uppance. The next day, one of my friends and I composed a poem to show our support of the action and mailed it to the White House. Soon after that, my friend and I (both about 15 at the time) joined the Civil Air Patrol and became radio operator certified. We were ready to take on the world for America. A month later, the movie Top Gun opened to much acclaim and I fell in love with the idea of serving my country. I started the application process to the US Naval Academy that summer. My best friend started applying to the US Air Force Academy.

I even went to an air show at the now defunct Eaker airforce base and bought a flight jacket and adorned it with F-14 Tomcat patches.

I was happy.

In 1989, the Berlin wall came down and, along with it, Communism and the great Red Menace.

In the years following, I waivered back and forth between joining the military and leading a civilian life. I had given up on the Naval Academy idea, deciding I wanted to be a veterinarian and not wanting to commit myself to eight years. In college however, I still couldn’t shake my love for all things military and joined the ROTC on the fast track plan to become an officer. I even opted to wake up at 4:30 am and workout with the Ranger team, doing everything they did except get paid by the government.

Over the first two years in college, I received (and then subsequently turned down) two scholarships of 20,000 dollars plus because I still couldn’t commit.

Then 1991 happened. In January of 91, Desert Shield officially became Desert Storm.

I remember sitting in my car listening to the radio one night, waiting for a community play practice I was in to begin, when a man broke over the airways and said “Operation Desert Shield has officially become Operation Desert Storm.” Never has there been a more ominous sound than the sounds of bombs dropping in the background.

I remember later that week driving from college to a recruiters office to talk about joining the fight. Once again, I talked myself out of it. I took the ASVAB test, was told I could be a nuclear submarine engineer! And laughed. After listening to the fastest war ever fought on TV, I decided that by the time I got through basic and got over there, It’d be over. I was right. It lasted about two months.

Things settled down over the next few years and I decided to become a pharmacist. Big bucks and big student loans. Late in the fall of 1999, I was preparing to graduate from Pharmacy school and businesses and industry converged on me like a bleeding barracuda in a swimming pool full of sharks. One of these happened to be the US Military.

I won’t lie, I was interested. Now they couldn’t pay near what the corporate sector could offer, but they had Uncle Sam behind them and he had loan forgiveness and retirement plans to beat anybody.

Not to mention I’d be able to start out in the military as a Captain, something it’s taken my brother almost 18 years to get to in the Army.

So I tried to think reasonably. I put pen to paper and compared how long I’d have to be in the military before I’d start making the kind of money I would at the local drug store.

It looked like about 11 years. Now I could probably go for that, but when you add in that by now I’d had a son whom I didn’t want to move all over the country and that Pharmacists really don’t see much ‘action’ which I had originally wanted to join for in the first place…once again…I talked myself out of it.

Then came 9/11. The most patriotism I’d seen in years when we were struck on our own turf. I looked into the age limits for the military. They were still willing to take me because of the shortage of Pharmacists. But by then, it was a lost cause.

It’s been a little over 20 years since I fell in love with the thought of fighting for my country, and tales like that of Army Lieutenant Colonel Bruce P. Crandall, whose actions were depicted in the movie We Were Soldiers, still makes me tear up.

I even visited the US Naval Academy two years ago with my son because I’ve started projecting my unrealized dreams on him.

I am an American. Through and through. Still tear up at memorials and still cheer when the planes fly over the Superbowl.

I always will be an American. Even though I threaten to leave if Hillary becomes President.

I just realized finally why I’ve become so nostalgic for my youth. Not because I’m getting old. I just miss the way it was. When America was great.

Now I feel like we’re in the ‘falling’ portion in a book that’s titled ‘The Rise and Fall of the United States.’

Liberals have taken over giving my money away to people who don’t need or deserve it, Conservatives have become lethargic and too worried about pleasing everyone.

I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’m disgusted with where America is heading.

All we seem to worry about lately is the rights for all the people who don’t deserve them.

In order for you to get anywhere in this country, you have to be gay or ‘oppressed’ because of color, race, or creed.

Those of us who just EARNED our jobs and fought REVERSE discrimination the whole way earn all of the money so our government can take it and give it away.

WHY do I love a country that does that? I don’t know…

But I do.