What does this mean?


Plus

Answer at the bottom.


It finally happened. I've seen countless sitcoms and musicals, and eventually, in all t.v. series that last more than two seasons, there's always a musical episode. The episode where everyone breaks out in song for no reason.
I saw it's effects most recently on Scrubs.
I like these episodes. The Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical was noteworthy. It provides a nice break a few seasons into the show where you think the characters can't do anything else to surprise you.
Well, it happened at work today. I was typing at my desk and along came Thomas, one of the employees at the next door/but co-owned durable medical equipment building. He was whistling. Not just any song...Patience by Guns N Roses. Now, I didn't immediately recognize the tune, nor did he whistle the whole song. But as soon as he passed by, I started whistling the song. By this time, we'd reached the chorus and I broke into song. Completely oblivious to what I was doing. Before I knew it two other people had joined in the chorus.
Now at this point, you'd think we'd have stopped and shared a laugh and talked about how ridiculous that was.

But we didn't .

We sang almost the whole next verse before the majority of the people didn't know anymore.
Spooky.
But now I now how those episodes happen.
And I think everything, two seasons in, should do the same.
Like your Senators. Who doesn't want to see Nancy Pelosi break into a few lines of Judas Priest's "Breakin' the Law, Breakin' the Law!"All we need is just a little patience....
And btw...the pictogram at the top can be Guns and Roses OR Axl Rose!

I just finished watching 'The Secret'. A 'documentary' about how all the people in the world who were great all knew the secret to life. The secret was simple. Enjoying life and envisioning what you want. It was sort of a metaphysical statement about how everything is intertwined on a basal level mixed in with stories of miracles through thought. At first it seemed just like an infomercial but after watching it through, it was a well presented version of the way I live my life anyways.
Anyways, it led me to start thinking about what I want to do with my life before I die. It suggested writing down these things I want, so I thought I'd make a list. If nothing else, I can look back and see how much I've accomplished. I'm including things I've already done also to give me a better idea of how far I've come...I'm no spring chicken after all.
So here goes, an incomplete list of things to do:
1. Get married-done
2. Have children-done
3. Graduate college-done
4. Get my doctorate-done
5. Get a job I love
6. Be a millionaire
7. Fly in a plane-done
8. Fly in a jet
9. Parachute from a plane-done
10.Write the Great American Novel
11.Get it published
12.Write a screenplay-done
13.Make it into a film
14.Travel to every state
15.Travel to every continent
16.Travel to any and all countries
17.Achieve 7th degree black belt in a martial art
18.Open and own my own dojo
19.Build my dreamhouse.
20.Retire by age 58.
21.Go on a Safari
22.Record an album
23.Get in shape
24.Learn an instrument-done
25.Draw a complete graphic novel

I'm sure there's other things that I can't think of right now, but it's a start.
I feel inspired to get started on my list so I'll leave you with my favorite poem.
By Edgar Guest.

It Couldn't Be Done
Edgar Guest

Somebody said that it couldn't be done,
But he with a chuckle replied
That "maybe it couldn't," but he would be one
Who wouldn't say so till he'd tried.
So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin
On his face.  If he worried he hid it.
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn't be done, and he did it.

Somebody scoffed: "Oh, you'll never do that;
At least no one ever has done it";
But he took off his coat and he took off his hat,
And the first thing we knew he'd begun it.
With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,
Without any doubting or quiddit,
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn't be done, and he did it.

There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,
There are thousands to prophesy failure;
There are thousands to point out to you, one by one,
The dangers that wait to assail you.
But just buckle in with a bit of a grin,
Just take off your coat and go to it;
Just start to sing as you tackle the thing
That "cannot be done," and you'll do it.

Self-Confidence
By Unknown

If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think that you dare not, you don't;
If you'd like to win and you think you can't
It's almost certain that you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you've lost;
For out in the world you'll find
Success begins with a fellows will -

It's all in the state of mind.

If you think that you are out-classed, you are;
You've got to think high to rise;
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man;

But sooner or later, the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.

If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right.

Henry Ford

P.S. I hope this makes up for the negative posts I've been in the habit of lately.

An Open Letter from America to all Unborn American Children:

Dear Sirs/Madams:

I regret to inform you that the phrase, “Glad I was born in America.” No longer applies to you and your circumstances. We will be revoking your rights to liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and in some cases, life.

To reflect these changes, we have opted to exercise our ‘buy out’ clause on the life of one ‘Captain America’. It has been discovered that he has 1) falsely presented himself as a Captain and 2) not associated with enough known homosexuals. He has also been caught bad mouthing Europeans and other American-impaired individuals.

This move to eliminate an American hero effectively sums up the our new movement towards killing of the American spirit and kow-towing to foreign interests and liberal self-loathing.

Upon being born, you will be issued a communal health card which, you will be happy to know, will get you treated for any disease, anywhere in the United States after meeting a 30,000 dollar deductible and if a core group of really smart 4 year olds decide you need the treatment. The waiting list is relatively short for most serious illnesses and we’re confident that any new organs you may need can be garnered from embryonic stem cells at the cost of nothing to us because the babies were going to die anyways.

Along with your medical card, you will be issued a Spanish/English dictionary which you will need if you apply for any jobs. Of course, the bonus in this situation is that you don’t need a job. Millions of people already have jobs and will support you if you choose not to work with the pre-planned tax hike that will go into effect next year. And, if you vote Democratic now, we will issue you your very own “I hate America and I vote” T-shirt. If you choose not to vote, you will be considered disenfranchised and a vote will be placed for you. All of this is made possible with further tax hikes (only on those making more than 15,000 dollars annually) and make it possible for you to shout profanities while you burn the flag, wipe your ass with the Constitution, and murder someone whose gun was taken from them by our congress.

We hope you enjoy your new lives in America/Hopelessland and don’t forget to apply for Medicaid. Even if you think you might not need it.

Yours Truly,

Apathetic Big Government

In the beginning...there was jive.

Jiveman #1: Sheeeet, man, that honkey mus' be messin' my old lady got to be runnin' col' upsihd down his head!
Jiveman #2: Hey Holm, I can dig it! You know he ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap upon you man!
Jiveman #1: I say hey sky, s'other say I won say I pray to J I get the same ol' same ol.
Jiveman #2: Knock yourself a pro slick. Gray matter back got perform' us' down I take TCBin, man'.
Jiveman #1: You know wha' they say: See a broad to get that bodiac lay'er down an' smack 'em yack 'em.
Together: Col' got to be! Yo!

Then there were Sniglets.

Some examples:

Accordionated (ah kor' de on ay tid) - adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

Aeroma (ayr oh' ma) - n. The odor emanating from an exercise room after an aerobics workout.

Aeropalmics (ayr o palm' iks) - n. The study of wind resistance conducted by holding a cupped hand out the car window.

Agonosis (ah uh no' sis) - n. The syndrome of tuning into "Wide World of Sports" every Saturday just to watch the skier rack himself.

Airdirt (ayr' dirt) - n. A hanging plant that's been ignored for three weeks or more.

Then there was Ebonics.











Nuff' said.

Now it's called an "Urban dictionary".


No joke. You can find it here.


http://www.urbandictionary.com

I thought only 'ethnic' people were allowed to use these words without looking stupid, but apparently, now it applies to any word not found in the dictionary and used by people. I learned a lot when I met my wife. She introduced me to words such as:

	feening
	To contain a strong desire for something that satisfies something deep inside, typically a bad habit. Usually tends to be either drugs, cigarettes or chinese food. At 3:30 AM I was feening Grand Chau Chow, because "the salty crispy shrimp is real finger-lickin but they also have the best sesame chicken!"

gomming

To act wastefully or to kill time.


And now, it appears just about anything, with a big enough following, can be a word.
Fhqwghads for instance. If you haven't discovered Homestar Runner, you don't know what this is. If you don't know what this is...go no further until you go here.
http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail9.html

And it went on to become a song!
http://www.homestarrunner.com/fhqwhgads.html






Back to the subject, no more birdwalking.
I drifted around this site and learned definitively what a Greebo was, an Emo, and a Butterface.

















































They even listed The Cheat in there but I have yet to understand anything he says.
Anyways, I've determined that jive talk or 'urban' is funny if done in jest but otherwise makes me want to say:

Si obycajny mrokar !!!

A cartoon for no reason.

Miss America?

‘Yes, I do.’

I never thought it possible. America has let me down. As a child studying history, I tended to focus on ‘cool’ history. Wars and the old west. In all of these instances, America was usually involved and layers developed that became the cake that is my love for my country. Now, I’m not your traditional patriot, but I did start out that way.

My friends and I would roam the fields and backwoods of the area around our houses and pretend like we were right in the middle of combat. Vietnam was always a favorite, as all of our fathers had been participants. We fought as though we would win this time.

We did our own research and burned up our library cards learning about Audie Murphy and plane recognition between the Soviet Union and the U.S. I even bought a model of the different Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles each side in the cold war had to offer.

Then, in ninth grade, a magical thing happened. Operation El Dorado Canyon. One morning in April of 1986, I awoke to the news that President Ronald Reagan had issued an order to bomb the country of Libya, it being the Iran of the time. Muammar al-Gaddafi was probably the most hated person by Americans at the time and he got his come-uppance. The next day, one of my friends and I composed a poem to show our support of the action and mailed it to the White House. Soon after that, my friend and I (both about 15 at the time) joined the Civil Air Patrol and became radio operator certified. We were ready to take on the world for America. A month later, the movie Top Gun opened to much acclaim and I fell in love with the idea of serving my country. I started the application process to the US Naval Academy that summer. My best friend started applying to the US Air Force Academy.

I even went to an air show at the now defunct Eaker airforce base and bought a flight jacket and adorned it with F-14 Tomcat patches.

I was happy.

In 1989, the Berlin wall came down and, along with it, Communism and the great Red Menace.

In the years following, I waivered back and forth between joining the military and leading a civilian life. I had given up on the Naval Academy idea, deciding I wanted to be a veterinarian and not wanting to commit myself to eight years. In college however, I still couldn’t shake my love for all things military and joined the ROTC on the fast track plan to become an officer. I even opted to wake up at 4:30 am and workout with the Ranger team, doing everything they did except get paid by the government.

Over the first two years in college, I received (and then subsequently turned down) two scholarships of 20,000 dollars plus because I still couldn’t commit.

Then 1991 happened. In January of 91, Desert Shield officially became Desert Storm.

I remember sitting in my car listening to the radio one night, waiting for a community play practice I was in to begin, when a man broke over the airways and said “Operation Desert Shield has officially become Operation Desert Storm.” Never has there been a more ominous sound than the sounds of bombs dropping in the background.

I remember later that week driving from college to a recruiters office to talk about joining the fight. Once again, I talked myself out of it. I took the ASVAB test, was told I could be a nuclear submarine engineer! And laughed. After listening to the fastest war ever fought on TV, I decided that by the time I got through basic and got over there, It’d be over. I was right. It lasted about two months.

Things settled down over the next few years and I decided to become a pharmacist. Big bucks and big student loans. Late in the fall of 1999, I was preparing to graduate from Pharmacy school and businesses and industry converged on me like a bleeding barracuda in a swimming pool full of sharks. One of these happened to be the US Military.

I won’t lie, I was interested. Now they couldn’t pay near what the corporate sector could offer, but they had Uncle Sam behind them and he had loan forgiveness and retirement plans to beat anybody.

Not to mention I’d be able to start out in the military as a Captain, something it’s taken my brother almost 18 years to get to in the Army.

So I tried to think reasonably. I put pen to paper and compared how long I’d have to be in the military before I’d start making the kind of money I would at the local drug store.

It looked like about 11 years. Now I could probably go for that, but when you add in that by now I’d had a son whom I didn’t want to move all over the country and that Pharmacists really don’t see much ‘action’ which I had originally wanted to join for in the first place…once again…I talked myself out of it.

Then came 9/11. The most patriotism I’d seen in years when we were struck on our own turf. I looked into the age limits for the military. They were still willing to take me because of the shortage of Pharmacists. But by then, it was a lost cause.

It’s been a little over 20 years since I fell in love with the thought of fighting for my country, and tales like that of Army Lieutenant Colonel Bruce P. Crandall, whose actions were depicted in the movie We Were Soldiers, still makes me tear up.

I even visited the US Naval Academy two years ago with my son because I’ve started projecting my unrealized dreams on him.

I am an American. Through and through. Still tear up at memorials and still cheer when the planes fly over the Superbowl.

I always will be an American. Even though I threaten to leave if Hillary becomes President.

I just realized finally why I’ve become so nostalgic for my youth. Not because I’m getting old. I just miss the way it was. When America was great.

Now I feel like we’re in the ‘falling’ portion in a book that’s titled ‘The Rise and Fall of the United States.’

Liberals have taken over giving my money away to people who don’t need or deserve it, Conservatives have become lethargic and too worried about pleasing everyone.

I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’m disgusted with where America is heading.

All we seem to worry about lately is the rights for all the people who don’t deserve them.

In order for you to get anywhere in this country, you have to be gay or ‘oppressed’ because of color, race, or creed.

Those of us who just EARNED our jobs and fought REVERSE discrimination the whole way earn all of the money so our government can take it and give it away.

WHY do I love a country that does that? I don’t know…

But I do.